Friday, March 10, 2006

My Lifes Fading Before My Eyes

For people it's hard to realize how I really am. Who I truly am inside. No one really knows. Not even myself. This world seems to be closing in on me and there's no way to escape the darkness surrounding me. Being pushed around by my family is getting tiring. I mean I'm never going to be the kid they want me to be. Truly what is it to be a kid? I mean I try everything to be a kid but it's like everything I'm doing is wrong. I need to stay strong you know and not let this bother me as much as it does. Do what I used to do and cover this all up with a fake smile and hold it all inside. Pretend to be happy like I used to. I'm never allowed to do anything unless my sister knows about it. I mean seriously she acts like my mom. I mean it's like I have two moms. She's always on my case. She makes me do her homework. As well as my parents make me do her homework too. So I'll never win there. Everything is falling apart again. I'm fighting with my best friend about being happy. I'm fighting with my sister and mom as I type this because I'm not allowed on here until after my sister and seeing as I got up before she did this morning and then she left I decided to get on and now I'm in trouble. I'm sick of this life. I wish I could trade it in for a new one or already used on I don't care how it is. Some things got to be better than this. Well I'm getting bitched at to get off so I have to go.

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