Tuesday, November 29, 2005


i love sydney...i always have i was just to blind to see it when i was messing around with other quiting drugs...and im not going back..i mean yeah its going to be hard but i juss i cnat go back to that or ill lose the only girl i love..and i just dont want to do that..i love her so much she means alot to me and she knows that =S least i hope she does..rite now i mean all today ive had this feeling like imma lose her...and i kinda know i am...cuz as soon as i leave for the A.F. she going to find sumone and juss idk..she going to get wit him juss like in my dream...i really dont want that to happen but i know its going so worried cuz she all that matters to me...god i love her so damn much and i juss feel like imma lose her

i cant describe how much i love her i never really have been able to so into her...and i dont know why..she means alot to me more then nething...i really wish i could get her to see that...*hugs her really tight and never lets go* baby i say never let go because i never wanna let go of you..well baby im off here for now BUT .... i love you so much!


Thursday, November 24, 2005

The Pain I Have Caused..The Life I Have Lead!

yes this life of mine is real i tryed to wake up didnt work i juss kept on dreaming...i juss wanted to scream...i wanted to do i didnt take my medicine...i hoped that it would drive me so insane that i would commit suicide..but even then i didnt have the guts...i guess i turned into a wimp i dont still love struck to sydney...i cant hlep it i love her alot....she helped me get over meghan..i tried to completely block her out of my life but it doesnt work....she still wants to date me and it looks like its going to be a long ass always...pain...torture..and a struggle to make it through everyday..i mean not that my day could have even gotten ne worse...i mean i come home from skool get hit by my dad over and over i go to consueling get home log online and all the sudden sammie pops up after i put hey and told me not to talk to her then sydney did the same i was like wtf?

later to be found out sammie had got on my list...(which reminds me i need to have a talk with amber about that)...and talked to sydney...mostly i dont even know why im writting this really the only people that read these is marley (rarely) and sydney and black..i dont even know why i bother...i dont know why i bother writing anything anymore..i mean it gets taken the wrong way anyways and twisted up in the minds of strangers into sum grave detailed plot of vengence..i give up on it all...IM DONE WITH THIS SHIT!!!!

a big fuck you to everyone that ever doubted me~

a big i love you to sydney but its all the same!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

DANI (the black)

HAHAHA....yall thought it was going to be to sydney..nah..i love my syd dont look so sad i love you too...its juss my blogs are always about u so i thought maybe dani would want one by now dani anyways how you been..i been juss sure you already know why...well in case u dont durrr let me feel you dating sydney...duhhh lol...that and get used to it kid u going to be saying UGH alot...cuz im not stopping saying it to she going to be saying it sorri its juss u started it lol..idk how but u started it...we should like take that pic of syds ass and post it all over the net and be like look SYDS you know u like it hell i do lol...lmao...haha hey sydney....SUNDAY MORNINGS!!!!!...*laughs hystarically* thats a big word for me...omg syd u are so dead...ugh if ur mom heard what i was talking about last nite i swear lol...i think it will be funni if she did...then when i go down there ill randomly bring it i should show ur mom...u know she would like yalls imma go prank call syd now lol...ttyl love yall bye bye...ill prank ya syd if i can..idk if i can get offline for that lond idk if its worth jk jk you baby...LOVE YOU BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you dani...shit i mean sydney sydney i love you sydney lmao

Monday, November 14, 2005

UGH a lil bit since i updated this....i guess life got better since the last time i said anything...i'm dating sydney again..i mean lookin back at this blog you will see me and her have been thru two break ups....but yet she still took me back....ppl thinks shes nuts and i still don't blame them...i can't see how she would want me back.....i love her though...i mean yeah i like meghan i sorta always will...but rite now my heart is set on one my baby and i love her....what more is there to say...


Thursday, November 10, 2005



i love you baby and always will!!!


i thought everything would be alrite...i thougth maybe this time i wouldnt hold on too tight....i thought too much in the last 3 months....i cant put my past behind me and its showing....and i know that soon you'll see who i really am...and thats when you'll never talk to me again..its time to savor everything i once remember those times..the times that were never sad...i thought by now i would have grown up....but now its juss time for me to give up....i cant even go to skool...i always think i got better things to do...if i was ne one i would even let me in there life....let alone let me be there friend....ive changed so much since i got off drugs...sumtimes it makes me want to go back...and do it all again..then maybe you would want to be my friend....i remember listening to everyones problems....fixing them...making it all good again....but now i juss cant defend how i feel...and it comes out all wrong....i have a criminal record....and no one can see who i really am ne more...not like they ever could before....i juss wish there was a backoor out of all this...and i could juss get away...if only for one would be worth it...but i guess ill juss have to dream and listen while everyone else screams!
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